I love this picture of us! I have it on my desktop. One because I love it so much two because I want Kade to see his Daddy every time he looks at the computer. I am so scared he will never remember his daddy who loved him so much.I found my diary tonight that I kept while Randy and I were dating. I started it when we became engaged. I kinda chuckled because I kept a running track of how many days were left till we got married. The first entry was on Wednesday November 4th. We had 675 days left till our wedding. It is so hard for me to come to grips with the reality that he is really gone. In this book I have all of the little cards off of the flowers that he bought me, all of the sticky notes he would leave on my pillow when he would rush out the door to get by curfew, engagement pictures, pictures of the flowers he sent me, and list goes on. At times like these I am glad I am a pack rat. I haven't even gone to the cedar chest yet. That is where all of the other stuff is. I long to hear his voice again. I have caught myself thinking about texting him or calling him in the middle of the day. Will it ever go away? I share with you the last entry of my diary:
Friday September 9, 2004
Well Honey, our day has finally arrived. I cant believe it! Tomorrow I become Mrs, Heather Loper. I am a basket case of nerves. I just want you to know that I will love you forever, till death do us part, Until tomorrow at the altar, Bye Your Fiance, Heather 0 days left
9 comments:
Just wanting you to know I still think of you every day and keep you in my prayers. I can only imagine it seems to look hopeless that life will ever be happy again. Just praying God's peace and comfort will be with you in a special way. Jen Truitt
That is a wonderful picture! I'm sure you will be glad for all the pictures you have taken. I still can't believe it. I am so sorry for what you are going through. We pray for you every day. If you ever want to get away, please know you have an open invitation.
Dear Heather,
The thoughts of "need to call him," or "I'll text him" will diminish with time. I promise.
I can't tell you if it will ever go away totally because it hasn't for me after many years; but this line of thought has been reduced to a few times a YEAR instead of a few times an hour! And these come only when I learn something about an old friend that he would want to know or when I do something that reminds me of something we did together. I promise this will get better and more bearable and manageable with time. I'm still praying for you!
Anne Coates
Can I have your e-mail address? Your family is very much apart of my thoughts and prayers. I listen alot to radio programs and 2 of them this week have been on the lives of widows. One of the things that struck me was when one of them said ( I will use your situation) Randy isn't religated to your past. He is very much apart of your future. It somehow seemed less sad for me anyway thinking of your lives and how much you miss him. I hope today was a good one for you. Even in writing that I realize that for you even having a good day isn't ever going to be like it was before but that you are somehow able to just "breathe".
Heather, you are very much in my prayers. In your darkest and lonliest moments please remember that I am thinking about you and praying for your family. Life truly doesn't make sense sometimes! Just take it a day at a time. When you can't even do that go by minutes. And when that is too hard just go second to second. I will pray for you...always! lv...
Just wanted to stop by and remind you that I am still praying for you. In your saddest moments, God is right there with you!
Heather, I remember when you guys got married, I was so sad that I couldn't come to your wedding. I don't remember exactly why we couldn't come but I think I was VERY pregnant with steph and wasn't supposed to travel. Anyway, I love this picture of you and Randy, even though you were married that long, you guys still look so happy and in love. I am still praying for you every day.
Thinking about and praying for you.
Heather: Praying for you. Hope you and the children have a good day (as much as possible) :)
Post a Comment