Sunday, October 25, 2009

Friday, October 23, 2009

Just for today I will try to live through the next 24 hours and not expect to get over my husband's death, but instead learn to live with it just one day at a time.
Just for today I will remember my husband's life, not his death, and bask in the comfort of all those treasured days and moments we shared.
Just for today I will forgive all the family and friends who didn't help or comfort me the way I needed them to. They truly did not know how.
Just for today I will smile no matter how much I hurt on the inside, for maybe if I smile a little, my heart will soften and I will begin to heal.
Just for today I will reach out to comfort a relative or friend of my husband, for they are hurting too, and perhaps we can comfort each other.
Just for today I will free myself from my self-inflicted burden of guilt, for deep in my heart I know if there was anything in this world I could have done to save my husband from death, I would have done it.
Just for today when my heart feels like breaking, I will stop and remember that grief is the price we pay for loving and the only reason I hurt is because I had the privilege of loving so much.
Just for today I will not compare myself with others. I am fortunate to be who I am and to have had my husband I had for as long as I did.
Just for today I will allow myself to be happy, for I know that I am not deserting him by living on.
Just for today I will accept that I did not die when my husband did, my life did go on, and I am the only one who can make that life worthwhile once more.

I found this today and it spoke to me. I have been at the bottom emotionally lately. Most days I feel as if I can't go on. Will it ever get better I ask myself? Some day it will I am told and I am looking forward to that day! I miss Randy so much!!!!!

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Another birthday

Another birthday to celebrate. I cant believe I have a teenager. It seems like only yesterday that Randy and I brought her home from the hospital. Where does the time go? Kaitlyn is so helpful to me. She does things without me even asking her. She is a good babysitter too.I am so proud of her. I don't know what I would do without her!You are a beautiful girl and I am so glad you love Jesus! Happy 13th birthday Katie Bug!! I love you!!!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Happy Birhday Konnor

I am a little slow but I wanted to post and tell everyone that my big boy is 5 now. It is so hard to believe. I remember the day we found out we were going to get our boy. Randy was so excited! He arrived weighing 8 lbs. 9 oz..He was so cute. Then we found out he was sick. He was born with pneumonia. So he had to stay in the NICU for a week to receive antibiotics. It was hard for this mommy to leave her baby but I was there everyday holding him for hours and hours. He did great and grown into a big boy today. Konnor is such a good and sweet boy. I love you Konnor so much!!!

Monday, October 5, 2009

I am pleased to introduce to you the newest members of our family. I have had enough of doing laundry in the worlds smallest washing machine! I have been so overwhelmed with all of my responsibilities as of late and my laundry never gets done. Several people have told me to check into getting new ones. Well this weekend there were sales and I shopped around and did some research. One store price matched plus beat the competitors price by 10%. I saved $400 each on these. My washer washes around 7 bath towels plus a few little items this one washes between 24-28 bath towels. It will wash a king size comforter. Can you tell I am excited? I will get them on Friday so I will give you a review after I use them a couple of times. TTFN
Review time:
1. I love these new machines!!
2. The washer does hold 3 baskets of clothes like advertised.
3. No it doesn't hold 28 bath towels. I had 14 towels, all of the washclothes and hand towels and a set of twin sheets in one load.
4. It doesn't hold a king size comforter. It does hold my queen sized one nicely though.
5. I cant stand to watch it wash my clothes.( it has a glass lid) I say there is no way my clothes are getting clean with so little water. But they always come out clean and smelling nice.
6. Did I tell you I love these machines? 8o)
The whole group
My good friend Tamra and I

I know this is a little late but I wanted to post about the surprise birthday dinner that my friends planned for me. They planned and schemed and got me to the Cheesecake Factory all without me knowing. I guess I am a little naive. We then walked around till 10:00 shopping. It was a fun night with a bunch of great friends. Thanks guys, I love ya!!!!