Friday, October 23, 2009

Just for today I will try to live through the next 24 hours and not expect to get over my husband's death, but instead learn to live with it just one day at a time.
Just for today I will remember my husband's life, not his death, and bask in the comfort of all those treasured days and moments we shared.
Just for today I will forgive all the family and friends who didn't help or comfort me the way I needed them to. They truly did not know how.
Just for today I will smile no matter how much I hurt on the inside, for maybe if I smile a little, my heart will soften and I will begin to heal.
Just for today I will reach out to comfort a relative or friend of my husband, for they are hurting too, and perhaps we can comfort each other.
Just for today I will free myself from my self-inflicted burden of guilt, for deep in my heart I know if there was anything in this world I could have done to save my husband from death, I would have done it.
Just for today when my heart feels like breaking, I will stop and remember that grief is the price we pay for loving and the only reason I hurt is because I had the privilege of loving so much.
Just for today I will not compare myself with others. I am fortunate to be who I am and to have had my husband I had for as long as I did.
Just for today I will allow myself to be happy, for I know that I am not deserting him by living on.
Just for today I will accept that I did not die when my husband did, my life did go on, and I am the only one who can make that life worthwhile once more.


I found this today and it spoke to me. I have been at the bottom emotionally lately. Most days I feel as if I can't go on. Will it ever get better I ask myself? Some day it will I am told and I am looking forward to that day! I miss Randy so much!!!!!

7 comments:

Peggy B. said...

Excellent Heather! I know how you feel. Many days I would not have even cared it I died too. My children kept me going. It has been 4-1/2 years now and I still miss him and still wonder why......but it does get easier. We will always love our husbands, but the pain does get easier with time. When they told me that after Mark died I thought they were nuts, but with God's help each and every day it does get easier.

Thinking of you.....

Jennifer Truitt said...

I woke up early this morning thinking about you and praying for you!Now I know why! I am praying for special comfort and peace for you today! I have a little quote on the side of my refirgerator that someone gave me when our 3 year old daughter was diagnosed with Leukemia.... If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. I have reminded God of that many times.....you brought me here and I don't understand it.... Now you are going to have to bring me through it since I can't change it! You continue to remain in our prayers!!!

Tamra said...

Love you, Heather.

Holdens said...

We love you! We miss Randy too. Just tonight we were talking about some of the funny things that Randy said. We were so sad! But it did make us smile. :)

Jenny said...

Beautiful! It is so true, just one day at a time. I'm sure even just one day is overwhelming but it is a little more do-able than many days. I am thinking of you and praying for you every day Heather. May God wrap you in his comforting arms....
Love your friend,
Jenny

Lavy Country said...

That was beautiful and so well spoken. Thinking about you today. I'm hoping you have a wonderful day - let me know when you are ready to go shoe shopping :o)

Anonymous said...

Heather, I just want you to know I still pray for you alot! That was such a beautiful way to express your pain and feelings. Susanna Pilmore