Friday, July 16, 2010

I can't believe one year has come and gone. I have learned so much this year. About life and about myself. My emotions have been up and been way down.
I have learned that I have the most awesome friends in the world!! They have been there for me in thick and thin. In the happy times and in the sad.
I have done alot of things and traveled to alot of places and I have learned that you cant run away from problems or grief. Its always there to meet you when you get home. It is easier to face it and get it over with. I have learned that I can do things on my own. Things that I never thought I could do. I have learned to ask for help when I need it too. I know Randy would be proud of me for all the things that I have learned to do myself. I was thinking this when I mowed the grass the other night with the BIG lawn mower he would never let me use because he said"I couldn't handle it". Yea, I might not be the nerd he was with the finances but I haven't forgot to pay any bills. I have kept the budget for the most part too.
The kids and I miss you so much Randy.I miss our talks and the way we worked together. I wish you were here to pay the bills and romp with the boys and take the girls out for their birthday breakfast. I know you are in a better place and we will see you again some day. For now we are making it and moving forward. Doing what we think would make you happy.
I found this poem and I leave you with it.......

Those of us who have traveled a while
Along this path called grief
Need to stop and remember that mile
The first mile of no relief.

It wasn't the person with answers
Who told us the ways to deal
It wasn't the one who talked and talked
That helped us start to heal.

Think of the friends who quietly sat
And held our hands in theirs
The ones who let us talk and talk
And hugged away our tears.

We need to always remember
That more than the words we speak
It's the gift of someone who listens
That most of us desperately seek.

5 comments:

Michele said...

We love you!

matannjess said...

I have been checking your blog knowing the year mark was coming up. I'm sure there is still lots of pain, but glad to hear you are hanging in there and most of all it's great to know God is still number one and still helping and guiding you and your family.

Annette Marshall
Lake Placid, NY

Sherry L Dickinson said...

Dear Heather,
What a hard year it has been for you. I am sorry you have had to suffer so much. I can't imagine why Jesus took Randy but even when we don't understand, we know that God is in control and we can trust him.
Whatever the future holds for you, stay true to Jesus. If life is hard, or if life is easy we must hold on to God and his way, and keep him in our life. It will make the troubled times bearable, and it will make the good times days of heaven on earth.
Please do keep Jesus in your heart and life: for your children's sake, for Randy's sake, for your sake, and for Jesus' sake. Smile.
With love,
Michael Dickinson's mom in Phoenix, AZ.

Sarah Cook said...

Here's a hug from a few miles away! X Love you!

Shandra said...

LOVE the poem, Heather!