I can't believe one year has come and gone. I have learned so much this year. About life and about myself. My emotions have been up and been way down.
I have learned that I have the most awesome friends in the world!! They have been there for me in thick and thin. In the happy times and in the sad.
I have done alot of things and traveled to alot of places and I have learned that you cant run away from problems or grief. Its always there to meet you when you get home. It is easier to face it and get it over with. I have learned that I can do things on my own. Things that I never thought I could do. I have learned to ask for help when I need it too. I know Randy would be proud of me for all the things that I have learned to do myself. I was thinking this when I mowed the grass the other night with the BIG lawn mower he would never let me use because he said"I couldn't handle it". Yea, I might not be the nerd he was with the finances but I haven't forgot to pay any bills. I have kept the budget for the most part too.
The kids and I miss you so much Randy.I miss our talks and the way we worked together. I wish you were here to pay the bills and romp with the boys and take the girls out for their birthday breakfast. I know you are in a better place and we will see you again some day. For now we are making it and moving forward. Doing what we think would make you happy.
I found this poem and I leave you with it.......

Those of us who have traveled a while
Along this path called grief
Need to stop and remember that mile
The first mile of no relief.

It wasn't the person with answers
Who told us the ways to deal
It wasn't the one who talked and talked
That helped us start to heal.

Think of the friends who quietly sat
And held our hands in theirs
The ones who let us talk and talk
And hugged away our tears.

We need to always remember
That more than the words we speak
It's the gift of someone who listens
That most of us desperately seek.